Back to Homing

“Place as crime scene, as evidence, as escape hatch, as proof of survival.”

Danielle DeTiberus lives and teaches in Charleston, SC. Her poetry has appeared in Academy of American Poets, Copper Nickel, The Missouri Review, The Rumpus, Waxwing and elsewhere. Her nonfiction has appeared in Entropy, Hunger Mountain Review, and The Los Angeles Review. Her work has been featured in The New York Times, Verse Daily, and the Best American Poetry anthology. Her manuscript Better the Girl Know Now was a finalist for Black Lawrence Press Hudson Prize and Hub City’s New Southern Voices Prize

Why does this piece mean ‘homing’ to you? How does it resemble your relationship to place?

This poem is populated with the places in which I have lived: Boston, Saratoga, the Hudson Valley, Asheville, Charleston. Place holds a mythic remembering, I think, for all of us and maybe especially for storytellers. As I grow older, I think about versions of myself living in these spaces: who was she and what on earth was she thinking? She feels both familiar and far away. She also feels so precarious. A piece of her had to die so that other versions of her might live, and so I guess this poem emerged from my thinking about what a wonder it is that my deaths so far have been figurative when so much of a woman's life is confronted with violence. Living under this woolly threat of violence means to have a heightened awareness of one's surroundings at all times. Place as crime scene, as evidence, as escape hatch, as proof of survival.

Thinking of “Self Portrait,” is there a link between home and violence? Why, when writing about the artist’s journey home, did you choose to talk about how some of us never make it there?

For one, when I think of my past recklessness, my vulnerability, my ignorance, I also think of my dumb luck. No other reason why some survive and some do not. Perhaps this is why so many women are obsessed with true crime. A kind of pop culture talisman to worry that threat away. This poem is a kind of exploration of that impulse—macabre and a little appropriative, but also one rooted in real fear. This is a meditation of just some of the highlights of my life's almosts.

Here, though, I am also thinking about domestic violence and about the realities of who is most likely to harm a woman. According to a UN Women's report on femicide published in 2024, "One woman or girl is killed every 10 minutes by their intimate partner or family member." And yet, I am writing from America in 2025 in which threats to women—white women in particular—are weaponized to attack trans folks, undocumented migrants, and people of color in general. The lens I have chosen to look through for this self portrait is my gender, but people are unsafe in their homes, their communities, their countries for a number of reasons.

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Self Portrait in Which I Get Murdered

Danielle DeTiberus | Poetry, Homing

Because that Valentine’s Day, drunkenly

serpentining down Strathmore, if I had

been alone—. Because I never felt afraid

walking alongside him—a kind of armored

folly. Us two thinking we could outsmart

even ourselves. But if we never met or if

I was a little more prudent: got my first

apartment with girlfriends instead, told him

we should wait. Walked alone through the city

all those nights. If I caught the last T home.

The last pill offered up. Maybe I’d never

see it coming. Just footsteps quickening

somewhere behind me.

Or farther back

than that. Seven & living on a horse farm

in Saratoga. If I ignored my mother’s Stranger

Talk. Or maybe if she never learned to worry

anyway & remained soft to the world. So when

the car pulled over on my long walk from

bus stop to home—up the twisting

mountain, past a few houses cradled by

woods—it would have never occurred to me

to scream. I’d smile politely. A good girl always

says, Yes. I wouldn’t run, tearing through

gravel & fallen oak leaves half in decay.

I’d get in, say, Thank you. Seat belt safely

clicked in place.

Home just one

mile away. Or else I was already home: another

kind of risk. Before I met him, I wanted

to make grand mistakes in love. & besides

if we never met, I’d have surely found a few more

duds. Some dude who loved Dave Matthews,

the torture of romance. & maybe we’d cry

& fuck & drink screwdrivers—because I’d never

outgrown the sickly sweet of orange juice

mixed with booze. I wouldn’t have known

he owned a gun because we’d each have

our secrets. I’d try to be a cool girl—not

a nag. His temper meant he was passionate,

an artist maybe. Or so jealous he’d wrap

his hands around my neck. I’d claw his face

red, promising myself, This is the last

goddamned time.

& one time

it would be. Like in high school when some

boy offered to give me a ride to some party.

On the way, we pulled off the main road

to get high by the glow of the car radio.

His face gaped at me, mawkish. & if

rather than yelling he had better fucking

take me home right fucking now—open

palm raised, ready to strike his radioactive

cheek. If I told myself to calm down—.

Just paranoid, strong weed. Ignore

that creeping sense of woods & a man

closing in on a woman alone. A woman

alone: such a dangerous premise, though,

I’ve been one

       most of my life.

Walking swiftly to my car after a long night

shift, wad of cash rolled into the crook

of my purse. Halfway up a craggy trail,

wondering which direction I should run

if—. A compulsion to check behind

the shower curtain before I pee, no matter

if the door is locked. My imagination is inked

with a map of each almost. Sister to Icarus

when all I want is to go home. Not wings but

the hubris of my body. How it dares to cut

a path through space. One wrong move &

watch me disappear in a crowd, in broad daylight.

A small splash beneath so many greedy suns.